We all have a story to tell. But what if you're not sure how to tell it, or where to start? What if you don't know how to put together the pieces of your story into something coherent and meaningful? And what if, despite all this uncertainty, you've decided that it's time for change anyway? If any of these things sound like you (or someone you care about), then read on! I'm going to share some tips for building back after breaking down — no matter what brought on your breakdown in the first place.
Sometimes you have to walk away from what you had in order to become what you are meant to be
Sometimes you have to walk away from what you had in order to become what you are meant to be. Sometimes, the only way forward is through a door that closes behind you and leaves the past behind. Sometimes, it isn't possible to go back; sometimes, nothing can undo what has happened; sometimes, there is no way around your mistakes or misfortunes but straight through them. And even though none of this feels good at the time—even though it feels like giving up and running away from your problems rather than facing them head-on—it's okay not to know where exactly your journey will lead next or how long it will take for things to return to normal again. But if there's one thing we can learn from all those movies about love stories that end with broken hearts and broken dreams: sometimes we need a fresh start more than anything else in order for us truly love ourselves again!
There is no shame in asking for help
It’s okay to ask for help. You are not a failure, nor are you weak. In fact, asking for help is a sign of strength—the courage and commitment to do what is best for yourself and your family. It doesn’t mean that your life is over or that things will never get better; it means that you are taking ownership of your life again, making an active decision about how to move forward instead of being pushed along with the current into something that might not be right for you.
Seemingly insignificant decisions can be life-changing
It can be difficult to take responsibility for your life, especially when it feels like you've been dealt a bad hand. But the truth is that we are all responsible for our own happiness. When you make small decisions every day (like whether or not to drink coffee), they compound over time and become the foundation of everything else in your life.
Many people have told me that they feel like victims of their circumstances: "My parents were abusive," or "I was born with ADHD," or "I'm just not happy." While these things may be true, there's always more than one way to respond to them. The real question is: Are you going to spend your life feeling sorry for yourself? Or are you going to take responsibility for changing things?
Being courageous does not mean you are not scared
It is as important to be courageous in times of fear as it is to be courageous when you are feeling fearless. It is not enough to have the courage to face your fears and take action, but also necessary that you do so even when you feel afraid. This requires a choice—you choose courage over fear for yourself, for those around you and for your future.
Imagine an ant crawling up a large tree branch with only the thinnest of limbs separating it from the ground below: We could say that the ant was brave because he had no fear of falling off into certain death below, but this would overlook his true bravery: His ability to choose between two options while in a very real state of panic (and without an option not involving imminent death).
The desire to fill a void
The desire to fill a void is a natural human response. It can be a powerful force for good, but it can also lead to destructive behavior—like drinking, gambling or other addictive behaviors. You may feel the need to fill the emptiness inside yourself after your breakup by seeking out new men or women (or even both) without thinking about what's best for you.
But if you take things slowly, there are ways of dealing with this need:
Seek out close friends who support you and make sure they know how much they mean to you. That way, if loneliness gets too intense and threatens your mental health, there will always be someone around who understands what it feels like—and who won't judge you when they see that pain in your eyes. Also avoid places where people tend not be supportive of others' feelings (e.g., bars).
Allowing ourselves to surrender to longing
Letting go of the past is an important step in building back after breaking down. It can be hard to let go, especially if we’ve been waiting for a long time or if our broken hearts are still raw from pain. For example, when you break up with someone, it might take you a while before you get over them. They were your first love and your first heartbreak—you don’t want to forget that person because they were special to you. But sometimes forgetting is the best thing for everyone involved—it heals wounds and prevents bitterness from eating away at both parties involved (and their friends).
But how do we let go?
The search for meaning and purpose can become a crutch
While it's important to find meaning and purpose, the search for it can become a crutch. If you're not careful, you may fall into a rut where your life becomes very routine and predictable.
If this happens to you, I recommend stepping back and doing some soul-searching. You need to figure out what will bring meaning and purpose into your life so that it doesn't happen again.
Here are my suggestions:
Keep moving forward - don't get stuck in the past
Try new things - experiment with different hobbies or activities until something clicks (e.g., join a book club or volunteer at a soup kitchen)
Be open-minded about ideas from others (e.g., if someone suggests volunteering at an animal shelter instead of going backpacking across Europe as part of your next vacation.)
Sometimes there is no panacea for our pain
Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and conjure up an image of something that makes you happy: A favorite memory, a place you want to visit, or even just the color yellow. Now imagine that this thing is in front of you and try to touch it. Do you feel like your hand is reaching out? Can you see it as clearly as if it were really there? Let’s say that, after some practice and patience, all those things are possible for you now—even if only for short bursts at first.
Now open up your eyes again and look around the room where people might have gathered for support or advice; maybe there are even other people who can do what I did here: help put words on paper when they need them most! Take another deep breath because things may still be bad but they will get better soon enough."
Misery is a choice. So is happiness. And so is healing. Every new moment presents an opportunity for change
You have the power to be happy or miserable. Every new moment presents an opportunity for change. And this is the choice you get: a chance to make things better, or worse.
There's a popular saying that says, "misery loves company." I disagree with this statement—I think misery likes nothing more than hanging out with itself! But if you want to get rid of misery and bring happiness into your life instead, then it's up to you to invite it in by changing your thoughts and actions.
The greatest challenge we will ever face is the one we set ourselves
No matter what happens to us, it is our reaction that determines whether or not we get back up. The greatest challenge we will ever face is the one we set ourselves, and if you can conquer that challenge, then nothing else will seem impossible ever again.
Whatever may have caused your breakdown, the path to healing is not always easy. But it is worth it. It will be painful at times, but if you can hold on through the discomfort, you will come out stronger on the other side of your trials and tribulations. And when all seems lost, remember: there is no panacea for our pain; we must choose happiness in each moment. This does not mean we are weak or selfish for wanting joy in life; rather, it means that we have learned from our past experiences and moved forward with wisdom gained from them.
