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Holding Space For My Darkness

Being in a dark space is pretty much what most of us would probably find as the scariest and most unsettling place we could be. Now this could be literal darkness, and it could also be mental and emotional darkness. Both types take you to a place where you have to work hard to see the things you are not able to see with sight, and that can be a challenge in both spaces. As of recent, I too have found myself lingering in some mental and emotional darkness. The first thing I thought when I was out was, “I’m so glad that I’m out of there”. And then I took a pause, and I thought wait why am I glad that I’m out? Is it because I feel lighter now? Is it because I do not have to deal with the dark aspects of myself (all aspects of me). I felt better because the darkness that I was experiencing like many people during this time brought me so much needed insight. And because I gained that insight, I felt better, better about what I had ruminating about, better about what action  was gonna take ( or lack thereof) better and the space I was occupying. So in that moment my first instinct was to say I’m so glad that I’ of there, when really I was glad that I was in the current space and could move with clarity and certainty. And it was in that moment that I knew that I needed to hold space for my darkness when needed. I needed to be able to allow myself to go sight unseen to aspects of myself that I have taught by practice that I should never go. I understood that it would be imperative for me to walk into the dark as it was the only way I could go back to the light. 


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